Wow... Reality is really sinking in right now... I'm going to be half way across the world in a month, by myself in a whole new environment. It's exciting and daunting at the same time.
This song sums up how I feel! I'm totally going to miss all my friends! ;(
I came across this song again on my iPod this morning on the way to work. It used to be one of my favourite songs, and probably IS still one of my favourite songs. Unfortunately... it put me into such a crappy mood for the rest of the day, lol.
"Belief makes things real, makes things feel, feel alright... Belief makes things true, things like you, You and I..."
Gavin Degraw - Belief
I know I haven't posted in a long time, but I've been real lazy! I guess that shouldn't be an excuse when I've finally finished college, as well as reduced my working hours! Anyways, last weekend I got to catch up with a lot of my old friends who I hadn't seen for long time. Many of them I hadn't seen for over half a year because of the chains school and my previous job. It was really good to see them, but a shame it was at a terrible location to 'catch-up' at. I've never liked clubbing and I probably never will, but I guess any place is better than no place, huh?!
Anyways, it was my first opportunity to actually tell people about my future travel plans to go around the world and develop my pastry experience. It was a chance to express my hopes and dreams, and the long and daunting journey ahead of me. What really surprised me that night, was that multiple people said they were really happy and proud of me, for working so hard and doing what I've always wanted to do. It wasn't just one person, but different people during the night voiced their opinion and feelings towards my life.
That's when it really hit me. That so many of my friends actually believe in me... believe in what I'm setting out to achieve... and believe that I can do what I set out to do. I know this might sound very neurotic, but all this time, I've always thought of myself as a failure. I've always thought that everything in my life has taken a turn for the worst and that I'm eventually going to end up at a dead end. I guess... I never really believed in myself and that's what has always set me back. But at that point in time, I could really feel their support and it really meant a lot to me.
I need to really start believing in myself and maybe one day, I can truthfully say, that I've found my happiness once again!
Remember AQUA from back in the days; growing up with 90s pop music?! I can truthfully say, I owned a hard copy of AQUA's album... and it was AWESOME! I don't know where it is now, but they were the official 'Cartoon Heroes'! I don't know if they are still producing music, but I came across this video tonight and it brought back many memories. Even though I'd never seen or heard this song before, just the fact that I was watching AQUA brought it all back to me! Needless to say, this song is catchy, because hey... what AQUA song isn't catchy?!
The autumn leaves in this video also triggered childhood memories for me. I remember growing up, I used to see 'Autumns' on TV, where leaves would be falling down from the trees... children running through big massive piles of leaves on the ground... and children stomping their boots... with the sound of crushing leaves. Sadly, growing up, this remained an imaginary autumn... a 'TV Autumn'... and I never, ever, EVER saw leaves shower from the tree tops.
Now... When I drive to work and park my car, I can look out the window next to the Botanical Gardens and see leaves falling from the sky, collecting into big piles of crisp autumn leaves on the ground. The little kid inside of me always wants to run out into the park and play in the leaves instead of going to work, but the other part of me is holding me back saying, 'You're a Fking 22yo man.. GROW UP SON!'. The lesson I learnt from this experience is... You need to be rich and live in South Yarra to have a TV Autumn!
